‘What took you so long to reply?’ Rise of the 24/7 digital availability

You sent a text, but it has been an hour since you got a response from the message you sent.

With every minute that passes, you keep checking your phone, scrolling through Instagram, Pinterest, TikTok and other social media to keep yourself busy.

You go back to the same chat box to see if the person is online. It goes to ‘..typing’ Then you can no longer wait, you start to worry.

If you are an over thinker, you re-read the text message, or start asking yourself if that was the appropriate response you made.

New developments in digital technology have contributed to the growing impatience by breeding the expectation of people being always on and constantly available.

According to data from the Communication Authority of Kenya, About 59 million mobile phone devices were connected to mobile networks in the country for the quarter ending September 2021 and the numbers are increasing on a daily basis.

With increased access to smart phones and the variety of options available for people to get in touch, the pressure to respond has become increasingly normal.

This has gone to the extent of people removing “blue ticks” so as to avoid giving people unnecessary ‘waiting’ period before you respond. Of which some people find removing blue ticks as selfish and annoying move.

“Why are you hiding? Just respond to the text when you feel like it…but hopefully soon,” Millicent Akello, 26, says.

This has also been displayed in workplaces, and social media likes. If you don’t get immediate response you are either lazy or ‘The post’ is not perfect.

“We have been conditioned into immediate returns”, says Michael Stefanone, professor of communication at the University of Buffalo, US, who specializes in social networks.

Why does it annoy you?

Experts have linked that to a human emotional investment that leaves an empty feeling if someone does not respond immediately.

That brings an emotional discomfort that leaves room for over analyzing things.

“Some people get really upset, because they’re projecting their own anxieties, onto the situation,” says Stefanone.

“If I text you and expected a response yesterday, and you don’t respond, I don’t have a lot of information – so I use my imagination. Like, ‘maybe he’s mad at me’; ‘maybe he’s dead’. We don’t have any context.”

Feeling of urgency

Setting boundaries can always helps minimize stress and keeps situations focused on the positive, which is very important.

“Once I initiate conversation with someone, I always let them know, in case I don’t respond immediately,“ Kelly Mwende, 25, says.

“A simple, ‘I am busy, I will respond as soon as I can’. I believe reduces that over expectation.”

“Some people seem to expect you to have your phone on you at all times and that you have nothing better to do than to read their messages and reply to them immediately,” Moses Sagwe, 23-year old.

“As long as I reply, it doesn’t matter what time, we are good. If it is an emergency, just give me a call. Otherwise, just be patient.”

In the end, there are a few options available, give them a call, sit back and be patient or put your phone away and look for another distraction.

If you’re getting angry about a slow reply, it may help to internalize why you’re beginning to work yourself up.

Keep in mind you are projecting your own situation and subsequent anxieties on the recipient, when you don’t actually have concrete information.

Text anxiety, ADHD, or digital burnout are also possible reasons that someone might feel too overwhelmed or anxious to reply to your text right away.

The more time we spend on social media, the more anxiety it can cause about unanswered texts.

Limiting time on social media and screen time can allow you to reflect on your feelings about texting while also giving you time to engage in other meaningful activities. Engaging in other hobbies can also help cope with anxiety.